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What Would JewFro Do?
In this most recent wake of more and more upcoming stories involving holy images being seen on everyday items. JewFro is here to help keep the faith. Here are just a few of these stories...
#1 Papal Chicken Breast
This chicken breast was an item on ebay that supposedly held an image of Pope John Paul II. A holy image from the after life, or a potsmoking republican who loves Jesus.
#2 The Virgin Mary Sandwich
This blessed cheese sandwich was quite a popular item on ebay, it received 1.7 million hits and went for $28,000. Think of all the other ridiculous things you could buy for that amount of money.
11,200 12 packs of Condoms (that's 134,400 condoms)
5600 trips across the Gulf of Mexico
2.8 cubic tons of porn
100 ounces of pure uncut Columbian hash
508 barrels of pubes
That's a lot of pubes
(All of these products are endorsed by Jesus and the Catholic Church, except maybe not the raft, which is endorsed by Fox.) #3 And finally, the latest of holy sitings, the Virgin Mary at Kennedy Underpass in Chicago.
But upon closer inspection Jew Fro has found an even holier image in this blessed wall which bears the "virgin mother."
More like the Virgin Tranny
Hundreds upon hundreds have already visited the beloved wall, and see it as a sign of faith. They have prayed to it and some have even kissed it. And not to out do themselves, CBS uses this opportunity to advertise other products.
Thats right, some idiot actually took time out of his day to visit a god damn wall and use his picture phone to remember it! This "holy mother" that people see is nothing more than road salt... or is it...
In the report, CBS interviewed several of the wall believers, and Jew Fro has concluded through extensive research that 100% of these people were high on at least 3 illegal substances, that's your Virgin Mary.
How do all of you bible thumpers or bible plumpers even know what Jesus, or his mother looks like. For instance, the JewFro staff was "researching ;-) " and than as if a sign from the lord above we found who we believe to be the "Virgin" Mother herself.
(Jesus's
mom has got it going on)
It's one thing if you believe in a fairy tale all your life, pray to an imaginary person every Sunday, and support the fondeling of little boys. But it's when people start worshiping walls and praying to cheese sandwiches that it starts pissing us off. Theres only one thing that all the racists and liberals of the world can do to help stop this infestation of the thought-less worship of sandwiches, INTOLERANCE!!! All the level headed people of the world need to unite against these bible-thumping idiots and give them a nice firm beating untill they stop praising house hold items in the name of god. Just because they believe in Jesus, doesn't mean he's going to appear in a slice of bread or in a video of Asian Bukkake Bondage and Gangbang that we saw yesterday.
You can find "signs" in anything if you look hard enough, such as one of our many Chinese Jew Fro readers who found this in his lunch. #4 The Egg Roll of God
A sign from the lord above.
If there really was a god, he would smite all of you wall-worshipers for praising a grilled cheese sandwich.
Damn that bitch is hot...she wasnt a virgin for long. |
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