JESUS IS BACK AND HE’S PACKING HEAT

In yet another attempt to turn Christians against Jews, Mel Gibson is producing another feature film staring our favorite action film hero, he’s back and he wants revenge, it’s Jesus. In this movie, Mel Gibson is yet again selling out his religion and the idea of Christianity to make the block buster film of the year. Last we found Jesus; he had been crucified and opened the gates to heaven. And now he comes back with knowledge of karate and other deadly arts, and lots of guns. Jesus stars in Passion of the Christ part 2…Revenge of the Jesus.

Rated XXX for strong graphic violence, drug use, pervasive strong language, excessive sexuality and nudity, as well as extreme racism and bigotry towards brown people.

Warning this film may have terrible side effects such as: Christianity (fatal if not treated), cardiac disease, high blood pressure, menstruation in men, stroke, liver problems, chronic masturbation, kidney problems, rectal bleeding, a deformed penis shape, blood cell problems, marijuana addiction, multiple melanoma, Chlamydia, leukemia and prolonged erections.

All Jew Fro readers and staff have most, if not all, of these medical conditions.

In addition to being a sequel to his most successful movie, it is also the first to be co directed by Michael Moore.

Michael Moore used this opportunity to blame the man responsible for Jesus’ death. A great, great relative of George W. Bush.

However, due to the box office success of the 1st Passion, Mel Gibson has cum out with a new way to further cash in on his religion and movie…a video Game.

Now you can play as your favorite action hero, Jesus, in his never ending quest to convert Jews, Muslims, and atheists into Christians. Meanwhile creating a religious empire that will soon kill millions people in the name of a carpenter. You must convert all the people who think differently than you do and accuse them of sinning. Then send them down into the deep fiery pits of hell from which they spawned, like all good Christians should.

But, why should we stop with just a video game, when he can cover so much more.

Oh…the possibilities.

As we all know, no one ever had quite as many pubes as Jesus. And for this very reason, when Jesus came back, he gave up his former career as a carpenter to follow his long life dream, a pube retailer. He started out as a small business, but it grew into multi-billion dollar tycoon. And to this very day, he is still known as the entrepreneur of pubes.