Those Crazy Asians

Alex Chiu is the guardian of the Shadow Realms on the distant but not quite so far away planet of Xenu, in the Rice Galaxy. Alex Chiu has come here not only to prevent an intergalactic war between the Xigons and the Eva-Borgs thereby releasing the Dragon-Worms who will engulf the entire Fourth Dimension. But the main reason Alex Chiu came to planet earth was to create a ring in which he would pour his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. And of course to sell out his own religion and convince a cesspool of the most idiotic and primitive of all minds that he is the modern day Jesus, but more on the ring.

Alex Chiu has discovered and patented his own Eternal Life Device that will provide all who wear it with physical immortality.

Now, we are no skeptics of Chiu's device, we are firm believers in his state-of-the-art immortality device, but it resembles quite closely the one ring, better yet a Prince Albert.

(Chief Thunder Bird rides the magical cock to the promise land.)

So speaking of British princes with mutilated penises Alex Chiu has one great website up. Click here

Not only does Alex Chiu promise more advanced technology than Star Trek, but he also considers himself the next Einstein. Alex Chiu claims to have a device that not only provides long life, but a machine that heals the handicapped, and also a beautiful. To counter Alex Chiu's so called greatness, JewFro has patented their own devices to help the needy.

To help the handicap heal with their troubles, JewFro has patented a line of products, endorsed by Jesus, to help the healing process of those who are disabled.

What better way to heal the handicapped and help them forget all their problems then to do so much cannabis that they lose all motor functions. With our new found "medicine" you too can wake up in a Fed-Ex box with 6 hookers and an African man named Tyrone.

To help the healing process you will receive a life time supply of porn so you can spend your days waxing the carrot. It will help you to regain confidence in yourself, and JewFro always says, all you need in the healing process is porn, and a hand towel.

Now you can forget all your troubles as you have all the promiscuous sex you desire, but as you know JewFro, and Jesus, endorses only safe sex, and of course anal.

JewFro has even found a cure for those who are not confident in their looks.

No longer do you have to be self-conscious about your looks, because no one can see your hideous face. Alex Chiu suggests a beautiful pill. But, it just wont compare to JewFro's patented product entitled "Butter Face Bag". This bag is available at all grocery stores near you. So remember if your ugly to just bag that shit up.

But, as is normal for JewFro, not only do we have the "Butter Face Bag", but also have another cure for ugly. This cure we like to call Viagra. Using this drug allows the user to see everything as extremely beautiful. However one side effect of this drug is the drastic lowering of standards. You will have the urge to hump anything and everything you see with an entrance. JewFro is not responsible for those who end up in Hump-related incidents involving nonconsensual sodomizing, destroying of property, or animal cruelty.

I think the real reason Alex Chiu started making his products is quite obvious, he's been trying to manufacture a device to increase the size of his toothpick sized penis. And who can blame him, look at the comparison.

This is Alex Chiu's condoms...

This is JewFro's condoms...

That’s right our gigantic throbbing member can only be contained by 8 gallon trash bags. To help those who pale in comparison to JewFro's massively well endowed, throbbing, bulbous, corpulent, staggeringly vast train of a penis, we will patent a device that will allow ordinary citizens to behold the gigantic log that is JewFro.

That’s right, now you at home can purchase your very own JewFro penis pump and feel the power between your legs.

I think it's fair to say that we match up quite well to Alex Chiu, but you got to give it to him, he's right about everything. From his technological innovations that cure cancer and grant immortality, to his predictions about the future, he is indeed the greatest human being that has ever existed. So after WWIII when the world is full of skyscrapers and robots, JewFro will be far away, in our patented massively well endowed, throbbing, bulbous, corpulent, staggeringly vast train of a Penis shaped Space Station.

That’s right bitch the real cure for cancer.

Please send your hate mail to: webmaster@alexchiu.com